LoveShine Parenting
We all love our children and want the best for them, to give them the best possible start in life, and a good foundation for a bright future.
But somehow we end up defaulting to old habits, keeping ourselves and our kids stuck in the past.
Do you know how your parenting style is affecting the development of your child's personality ?
We are shaping their hearts and minds everyday. Let's to do so in ways that uplift, empower and liberate...
You're not alone !
Many parents struggle to get that balance just right
Personality Traits
Which traits would you like to instil in your child ?
You want her to feel safe and secure, yet also open and adventurous
to be confident and assertive, but not arrogant and aggressive
to be friendly and outgoing, and also independent and free-spirited
to be conscientious and successful but not obsessive and neurotic...
It's all about BALANCE !
Parenting is a really tricky juggling or balancing act. It’s like we’re always trying but never quite getting into that Goldilocks zone, of not too hot, not too cold, but just right! We all want to be warm affectionate parents, and cool, fun parents but somehow we always end of over- or under-doing it. It’s not easy because our own lines have been skewed and so we don’t realize when we’re crossing the line, or missing the mark. The key is Balance.
Why is this happening ?
What is causing this disconnect between me and my child ?
The research suggests that around 55% of kids develop a Secure Attachment Style or bond, which means that their parents have a Supportive Parenting Style. The remaining 45% have an insecure style, either Resistant (Permissive Parenting) 15%, Avoidant (Harsh Parenting) 15%, or Disturbed (Abusive/Neglectful Parenting) 15%. Your starting point will be to discover your own parenting style and how it is shaping your child’s attachment style – the bond between you – and your child’s personality.
The next step is to discover the implicit emotional schemas that are involved in each of these styles. For example Permissive Parenting involves two main emotions, Pride and Anger. Permissive parents make their child the center of attention and gush over them with false adulation and this exaggerates and distorts pride into arrogance and superiority. They also struggle with discipline and so the child knows he/she can ramp up and amplify their upset, throw tantrums to get what they want; the Resistant Attachment Style commonly known as the “spoiled” child.
Parenting Styles
Do you know your parenting~attachment style ?
Children are not perfect little angels, nor are they rotten little monsters. They are learning to use their bodies and minds, learning to walk and talk, learning to express themselves and their emotions, testing and figuring out how things and people work, and when something doesn’t go their way they are bound to get upset. Parents can respond to a child’s upset in different ways and the child will learn to use his/her emotions accordingly.
Kids are either: 1) taught to express their emotions meaningfully; or 2) forced to repress emotions by hiding, denying and over-internalizing; or 3) allowed to amplify, exaggerate and over-externalize their upset; or 4) driven into a dissociative chaotic state of chronic distress. How the parent treats the child directly impacts how the child uses each of his/her emotions, how they deal with stress, how they respond to challenges and opportunities, which altogether forms the foundation and core of their personality (and possible future psychopathology/problems).
Emotional Schemas
The way we respond and discipline teaches our children to either:
What can we do ?
Is there hope for us ? Can we mend the bond ?
Arguing over homework, chores, food, clothes, and everything else is exhausting. It’s easy to default to punishments like revoking privileges, taking away their phone or tablet, but there are other, better ways to discipline.
Perhaps you’re dealing with a more serious problem like violence, trauma or abuse or a difficult divorce and you can see what it’s doing to your child, how it’s affecting him/her but you feel powerless and don’t know how to help?
It’s not easy, but you can change your parenting style, if you are really motivated to work at it, to put in the time and effort, it’s totally worth it, in so many ways, not just for your kid but for you as well. It’s never to late to start!
Learn how to attune and play with your child...
Encourage them to Feel, Regulate, Evaluate, and Express their emotions...
Build your child's personality traits and emotional intelligence...
Do effective fair discipline using natural consequences...
The young & Restless
Strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you
You children don’t belong to you, they belong to the sun and to the restless wind, that’s where they go.
They come through you but not from you, they fly away from the chains that hold you inside, inside yourself.
You hold them high up in your eye, you take them down to your field of broken dreams, and silent screams.
We are the young and restless, we know what don’t impress us now, we’re taking it back, back to the world.
We are the young and reckless, we won’t stand for nothing less than love and peace and trust, and unity…
What's in it for me ?
If you're ready to put in the work you will eventually:
begin to heal your own attachment wounds...
develop a more balanced parenting style...
build emotional intelligence and social skills...
intrinsic motivation and more cooperation...
heal the bond, enjoy each other, have fun!
We want our kids to be successful in life, in whatever career they choose. Many parents think that forcing (rewarding and punishing) children to study hard and get the best grades, will mean future success but that’s not how it works. Those who succeed have high self-esteem and strong people skills. They are confident, assertive and highly intrinsically motivated and conscientious. They are open to exploration and taking risks, because they are able to regulate their stress and cope with adversity. They are imaginative and innovative because they never stopped playing. How do we instill these traits and prepare them for a tough hard competitive world, without losing the joy and fun, the wonder, mystery, and magic of childhood?
Join me and other parents from around the world as we explore all these questions and discover solutions that work for you. Let's deep dive into instinctive drives, emotional schemas, personality traits, and so much more!
Healing Process
Are you ready to begin the healing adventure ?
Parenting Course
Here's what you'll be getting in the course
- Over 5 hours of Video content
- 3 Presentations
- 1 Workbook (+ audiobook version)
- 8 Practical Applications
- 2 Guided Meditations + 2 Audio modules
- 1 Webinar + 2 Individual sessions
- Whatsapp/email support
- Facebook study group
